this year felt three years long -- from I to we

In the last 12 months I:

- helped ship Solitaire In Motion for the Web
- shipped Hop It! for the Web
- shipped Firefly demo for Surface
- did Art planning for Fable 2 PubGames for Xbox 360
- went through 6 reorgs in 12 months, losing most of our people
- underwent the dissolution of Carbonated Games
- team-taught as a booted team w/Ben & Chris at DigiPen
- saw the DigiPen games catch fire
- executive-produced 22 games by 80 developers at DigiPen
- led a Bootcamp appetizer for Joshua with several booted guests
- co-led a Bootcamp for Octo, a French software company
- paid off over $28,000 in personal debt & all credit cards
- had my old car die, bought a newer old car
- bought a new Franklin and three beautiful bags
- started looking into Goddard's MFA in Interdisciplinary Arts
- met Teresa & Terrence, changed my view of what is possible
- connected more deeply with Lyon and Cecilia
- practiced the alignments of Faith, and Valuing Myself
- discovered girls nights out & Twice Sold Tales with Larissa
- had Jeff leave for college
- sponsored Urban Research Theatre & Beacon Hill Arts Center
- discovered Emerald City Scene, a young theatre/film company
- had 4 software companies spring up around me
- set up a new computer at home and a Mac for my mom
- met my brother & niece on their college-research trip
- helped with nearly 30 resumes, internships, & jobs

This the year I went from an "I" to a "we". From feeling isolated to feeling connected but teenagerly awkward at it.

Working with Jason last year was the start of this. It was scalding to again and again realize that my way or my thought was not necessarily the best; and nor was his. It was only the back-and-forth that got us to the good stuff. It is the same with Ben, Chris, and me. Now I don't even think, I just reach for their brains. Any two of us thinking together are not even in the same league as the three of us. Without Ben, we don't have the steady forward pouring of goodness, integrity, strength, joy. Without Chris, we don't have the swift rigor, laughter, love, the furnace of creation. Without me, we don't have magic, danger, transformational growth, art. Game, tech, team. Game designer, architect, theatre director. Wizard, sorceror, shaman.

This is why it had such a big impact when Joshua left. He was reflexively good at the connection. He kept reaching out and connecting with all of us. I tried, after he left, but felt like a thin-filament tracery of what had been a thick & thriving circulatory system.

I have taken a few weeks off. I am home now and sleeping a lot. With each day of sleep, my strength & spirit return. I feel like spring -- fragile, new.

The games created by the DigiPen programmers are stunning. This year was dreamlike, where at Microsoft the department fell apart in slow-motion around us, while at DigiPen everything we touched flourished.

This is how it happens. The cedar falls, and from its stump sprout huckleberry, ferns, salal.